Because it causes cancer, destroys your insides, lowers your sperm count, and tastes soooo good.
Because I am a big deal and I do need to be in pictures. And yes, "up-skirting" is still a crime.
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I never have to buy another coaster again. I just borrow from my 90's supply of AOL CD's.
Because not only is it a tasty snack with peanut butter or raspberry jelly, but she's also pure aces. Plus, she's trying to hang upside down with me. Which has the awkward acronym of THUD, which might not bode well. But who cares.